March 09, 2004
Worst Fears Realized
Spalding Gray performs his monologue, MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT, which covers the events of one day in the life of his family. (October 31, 1999) (NEWSDAY FILE PHOTO / ARI MINTZ)
SEAN GARDINER, Newsday Staff Writer Reports:
A body found Sunday in the East River was identified yesterday as that of Spalding Gray, the actor-writer who disappeared two months ago and is believed to have committed suicide.
Dental records confirmed that the body spotted floating near a pier off North 10th Street in the Greenpoint section of Brooklyn belonged to Gray, who had been missing since Jan. 10, according to police and an official from the medical examiner's office.
Sara Vass, a family friend, said the news brought relief and further grief to Gray's wife, Kathleen Russo, and their two sons, Forrest, 11, and Theo, 6.
"On one hand, to have some finality, to know what happened is important to the family," Vass said. "On the other hand, it's just a shattering finality, because there was always hope."
Gone without a trace
Gray, who was 62, went to see the movie "Big Fish" with his sons on Jan. 10. He returned to his SoHo home before telling his wife he was meeting a friend for a drink. He left about 6:30 p.m., leaving behind his anti-depression medicine and his wallet containing money, credit cards and his driver's license.
About 9 p.m., his wife said he called and told Theo, "I'll be home soon and I love you," according to a published report. It was the last time anyone heard from Gray.
The next morning, Gray missed an airplane for a ski trip to Aspen, Colo. When Russo didn't hear from him, she called the friend with whom Gray said he was going to have a drink and found no plans had been made to meet. She then reported her husband missing.
As the days passed without contact from Gray, suicide was suspected.
Fought depression
Best known for monologue performances such as "Gray's Anatomy" and "Swimming to Cambodia," Gray, who was diagnosed as manic-depressive, spoke openly and often of his fascination with suicide.
Vass traced Gray's downturn to injuries he suffered in the summer of 2001 after a veterinarian's van struck a car in which he was a passenger in County Westmeath, Ireland.
Gray suffered a fractured skull, a broken hip and a nearly severed sciatic nerve. The crash left him with a condition known as "dropped foot," in which he wasn't able to lift the toes of his right foot clear of the ground when he walked. It also left him severely depressed, Vass said.
Suicide attempts
At least two suicide attempts followed. On Oct. 15 in Long Island, Gray jumped off the bridge between Sag Harbor and North Haven, where his family owns a home, but was pulled from the water by a police officer and a passerby. Long Island police said Gray had also tried to jump off that bridge in 2002.
Because Gray had talked of committing suicide by jumping off the Staten Island Ferry, the family believes that's the way he chose to end his life, Vass said.
Some police officials who work in Brooklyn suggested that he might have jumped from the Manhattan, Williamsburg or Brooklyn bridges, because of where his body washed up.
Although Gray's facial features were distorted by the time he was pulled from the water, police had a good idea it was him. The body was dressed in black corduroy pants and a red and blue flannel shirt, with a right leg brace, which Gray was wearing when he disappeared.
Without official word yesterday morning, Russo sent her children to school and then waited, Vass said.
About 3:30 p.m. yesterday, Russo heard on television that the city's medical examiner had identified the body as belonging to her husband.
'It's just horrible'
Despite the daylong expectation that, in all likelihood, the body was going to be that of Gray, "the finality and reality of it was just stunning" to his family and friends, Vass said.
"It's just horrible," Vass said. "The whole thing is just dreadful. There's just so much upset in all of this and so much sadness."
Russo, her family and friends huddled in their North Haven home yesterday. Vass said Russo was too upset to talk about her husband.
A woman who answered the door and described herself as a family friend but wouldn't give her name said, "This is a difficult time" then allowed, "At least the children will have some closure."
The woman said the family is planning a small memorial service somewhere on the East End of Long Island in the next few days and will hold a larger service for the public sometime in the next few months.
Staff Writer Mitchell Freedman contributed to this report.
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